3 Reporters and a US Marine

Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U.S.
Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured
by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the
leader.


The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of
granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you,
do you have any last requests?"


Dan Rather said, "Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowl full
of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."


Peter Jennings said "I am Canadian; so I’d like to hear the English
National Anthem one last time". The leader nodded to a terrorist who
studied the United States and knew the music was the same as to ’God
Bless America’. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the
music. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.


Cokie Roberts said, "I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out
my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to
happen. Maybe some day someone will hear it and know that I was on the
job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape
recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I

can die happy."


The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine." "What?" asked the
leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I’m not kidding. I
want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.! So the leader
shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went
sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his
cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt
to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with
gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis.


As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings and Roberts, they asked
him, "Why didn’t you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you
in the ass?"!


"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you three assholes call ME the aggressor?"